by

Marjorie Kase

August 27, 2008

Photo credit: Jason Kempin/Getty Images

Much to her rabid fans' delight, Asian-American, queer comedian Margaret Cho is back with her own VH1 reality show, The Cho Show, 14 years after her first foray into television, the short-lived ABC sitcom All-American Girl. That experience was both tumultuous and fruitful, in that her negative experiences at the hands of network execs fueled the bulk of her hit one-woman show, I'm the One That I Want. This time around, VH1 elected smartly to let her do her own thing on her own terms.

In this extensive interview, Cho discusses her new show, gay marriage, Tila Tequila, Korean-American politics and, of course, sex.

AfterEllen.com: How would you describe The Cho Show?
Margaret Cho: I think of it as more of a sitcom than a reality show, although there are some elements of realness to it, in that it's a real family and real sorts of situations.

AE: Your mom has been the focus of a lot of your material over the years. What was she like on the show?
MC: She's hard to draw out of her shell, but when she gets going you can't stop her. She's unstoppable. She's really funny.

AE: Your father has sort of taken a back seat in all of this. Jealous or relieved?
MC: Relieved, I think. He is really a ham. I think when I do impressions of my mother, there's a lot of him in there. So, it's sort of an amalgamation of both of them. It's exciting for the TV show because he's more active in it.

Cho's parents

AE: In one of the show's upcoming episodes, you get what's called a "G-Shot," which is an injection of cortisone into a woman's G-spot with the goal of gaining more sexual pleasure from increasing its size. Was that something you did for yourself or for your "character" on the show?
MC: That comes from my character, but also from me. I was very curious about the G-Shot. And it's the kind of thing I would probably do without the show. To me it was not about pleasing anybody. It was like, oh my God, that would be awesome if I could have better orgasms; I could have better sex, I would be so into it.

AE: Some might argue that a woman electing to have a procedure designed to enhance her own sexual pleasure is actually a feminist action.
MC: Well, something like the G-Shot, it's supposed to be feminist because it's about improving your sexuality. And I think that it's great if there are women out there, they really love it and I think that's awesome, but ultimately it's about adapting your sexuality so that it's easier for men to make you come. That's what the G-Shot is. So they won't go down on you. It's another excuse on a list of excuses.

AE: You're lucky you have a great husband, who probably works hard for the money.
MC: [laughs] I do. He does, but ultimately it took all of that away. The G-Shot really hurt.

AE: Really? I saw it on Dr. 90210. The woman who had the procedure done said it was amazing.
MC: That is the way it is for some women, but I actually couldn't have sex after I got it done for nearly three months. I had to wait for the whole thing to go away because it was so uncomfortable. It took all of my sexual anything away because I was so in pain. It was horrible. It's a very expensive procedure as well. I think it's over $2,000 just to get one injection.

AE: What other sorts of adventures should we be expecting on the show — hopefully less painful ones?
MC: Um, anal bleaching. But not in the same episode, because I like to keep the vagina and the anus real separate, like the separation of church and state (laughs). We [also] have our own beauty pageant starring ourselves

AE: Much of your fan base is in the gay community. Were they supportive of you from the start?
MC: Even before I did comedy, I've always had this wonderful connection with gay men. They really saved my life when I was a little girl. My gay friends got me through everything. Then when I started performing, I started working at gay clubs. I built my work, my whole act, through working at gay bars and gay comedy nights. The gay community has been so important in my evolution as a person and as a performer.

AE: Who were influences when you started getting into comedy? You mentioned performing in gay clubs like Bette Midler. Was she someone you looked up to?
MC: She's somebody I look up to still. She's a wonderful performer and I love her story, how she did come up through the bath houses. And she would do these shows with all of these guys in towels. She's definitely somebody that was a big role model.

Whoopi Goldberg. Rosie O'Donnell helped me a lot when I was starting. She gave me a lot of stage time and helped me figure out what I was doing. Brett Butler was very influential and helpful. Roseanne — tremendous influence — Sandra Bernhard and Richard Pryor. I have a lot of influences

AE: In one of your upcoming episodes, you perform gay marriages in San Francisco. What was the experience like?
MC: It was incredible. … I was deputized in the mayor's office and became a deputy marriage commissioner. I was able to marry gay couples. It was so beautiful. I married two men and two women.

It was really amazing because normally, when we talk about gay marriage, it's always about like, "Why don't we have this right?" It's always [about] anger. So much anger goes into it because we're so angry that we don't have this right. We're so angry that we're not being acknowledged as equal citizens by the government. It's so infuriating.

But when you actually go down and perform the ceremonies, and you say "spouses for life," which is what they say [instead of husband and wife], it's beautiful. You know, the whole time everybody was crying. I even start tearing up about that now. It was so profound what the right of marriage can really do for a couple. The fact that we have this now in California is such a beautiful blessing. The gift of being able to preside over these ceremonies is huge, and I am so proud to be able to do that and I hope to be able to do lots more couples in the future.

AE: As we're sitting here, I noticed you're a lot more demure in person, but on stage you're notoriously very loud and outspoken. Where is the dividing line? When is it you being you?
MC: I developed that persona because as a standup comic, when I would go onstage, people would not listen. So I had to really combat people's expectations of what somebody who looked like me would talk about. I had to be super strong and super outrageous and loud and really get 'em.

My natural personality is not really like that, although I can be like that in a social setting. But that's sort of how I developed my stage persona, because I had to really change people's opinions about what the show was.

AE: What's your take on young Asian Americans referring to themselves as "bananas" [Asian on the outside, but white on the inside].
MC: I think it's in the head. I don't know, it might be a real thing. I mean I know quite a few self-proclaimed bananas. I think it's an interesting thing to identify as. I feel like being Asian American is sort of a new identity, because this is almost like the first generation of being Asian American in this country right now. We sort of try to struggle with defining who we are exactly. So these definitions like banana to me [are] interesting because it's like, why take it as a negative thing? I think it's a positive thing.

AE: You have said in the past that your show and reality TV in general has changed the racial landscape on TV. When did you first become aware of this?
MC: I feel like I noticed it [with] the show Charm School with Monique hosting it for VH1. I was so moved and excited because it's like there are these women of color. It's about improving their lives and how can we improve their lives and how we make ourselves better. I just thought it was so beautiful. That was a show that every episode I would weep.

So I feel that what reality television does is that [it] really multiculturalizes. You have to, because you're casting that other real world. You're actually seeing real people. That's really important.

AE: Tila Tequila: Love her or hate her?
MC: Love Tila Tequila. I love her. I think she's proof of how far we've come as a society where we can have that kind of bemused acceptance of an Asian-American woman who is bisexual, who has this dating show where men and women are fighting over her. That's so genius.

To me she's like my spiritual daughter because I look at her and I'm like, oh my God. She's Asian, she's bi, she's tattooed, she's so cute. I love her. I just want to cry when I see her. People complain about it. I think it's genius. I love her. Even if it's made up, that's fine. I admire her and I love that show. I think it's really genius.

AE: Do you watch American Idol?
MC: On and off because I get almost too emotional about the contestants, like I would cry. I got so emotionally invested in Sanjaya last year because he was so beautiful and cute and sweet. And just precious, so precious. I totally got his whole struggle. I remember all of these people from India getting really upset about him, and that's really happened to me. A lot of people in Korea are really upset about me (laughs). It's the same thing. I felt connected in his struggle.

AE: And yet, ironically, you've been honored as Korean of the Year. What about the Korean community's perception of you has changed?
MC: I've been around as a comedian for over 20 years. The fact that I still maintain this career is a good thing, so it's forced the Korean community to really accept me for who I am and enjoy me, because they didn't at first. It was really shocking.

Korean culture is very conservative. It's very sexist, very racist, very homophobic, like the most homophobic. It's a really difficult culture, and so because I'm Korean American, I have to talk about it and be critical about it. It's really difficult. I have a conflicted relationship with the Korean community, but it's also become very good and very loving, too.

AE: Your act initially centered on your parents and your experiences with the gay community. After the last election, you focused a lot on politics. Do you plan on covering both?
MC: Yeah, a little bit of both. A little more of what is personal is political, which I think is, for me, more interesting and easier to write about. I mean, I love politics and I love to talk about politics, but I don't want to make it my focus now. Now, I'm really more about everything.

AE: Are you looking forward to the election?
MC: I am very much looking forward to the election. I'm an Obama supporter and I was a campaign surrogate. I actually went and I spoke on his behalf. So I'm really excited about the election. I think he's going to be an amazing president.